I'm Not Okay, But I'm Here.

Hello dearest readers,

I am shocked I'm finding time in my schedule to catch up with you, but here I am.

I am going to be honest, I'm not perfect [cue dramatic gasping and a Victorian woman fainting in the background]

I don't believe in oversharing online, but with the depression and anxiety I have been carrying, I believe you have a right to know where I've been and why my posts are so lacking lately.

Some days, life feels like it’s running faster than I can catch up. Between school, rehearsals, two jobs, online classes, grad planning, and trying to keep up with the church choir, it’s easy to feel like I’m carrying everything all at once. And then, on top of that, I miss him so much it hurts — two weeks feels like forever.

I haven’t written in months. I haven’t read the books I’ve been dreaming about. I haven’t touched my blog or my stories, and honestly… some days I feel too overwhelmed to do anything.

But here’s what I’ve realized lately: it’s okay to just be. It’s okay to pause. To let the chaos be chaos, while I take a breath. Cry if I need to. Laugh at a silly meme. Listen to a song I can’t stop humming. Drink tea slowly. Write one sentence. Do just one small thing that sparks joy. That is enough.

Being a young adult feels like sprinting through life with no finish line in sight. You’re expected to perform, create, succeed, plan, and keep every single thing under control. But sometimes, the most courageous thing you can do is say, “I am doing the best I can right now, and that’s enough.”

So today, I’m choosing softness. I’m choosing a tiny slice of calm in the middle of chaos. Maybe I’ll write a few lines for fun, maybe I’ll read for five minutes, maybe I’ll just close my eyes and breathe. And that’s okay. It’s okay to survive the overwhelming days — even if surviving is all you do.

It isn't easy to be alive in this society sometimes (for me anyway) facing judgmental peers, constantly performing for others, trying to prove my worth to those who have already made up their minds about me, and feeling like I'm losing myself (who am I when I can't do my hobbies and things that I love?)

If you’re feeling like this too — weighed down, stretched too thin, missing someone you care about, or just done — I want you to know: you’re not failing. You’re human. You’re allowed to slow down, to feel, to cry, and to give yourself grace.

Sometimes the blog post isn’t about advice, hacks, or productivity. Sometimes it’s just about saying: “This is hard. I’m still here. And that counts.” To end this blog post on a less depressing note, I'll share some of my goals for the summer of 2026 and moving forward.

College.

Some of you may not know, but last month I was accepted to the local Hair College I applied to in December, and I start my program on September 8th, 2026. I look forward to being a hairdresser and one day working out of my home after building a reputation.

Writing.

I fully intend to publish books and keep writing once I graduate, and to keep writing (with no word-count goal) throughout work, college, and apprenticeships. I dream of book tours and signings at libraries and bookstores across Canada, and while I don't see this happening anytime soon, I'll never stop dreaming of what could be, someday.

YouTube.

This summer, it is my great hope to start a YouTube channel full of 100% honest vlogs, writing tips and livestreams. I hope that by July, my channel will be up and running because once I turn 18, I can do what I wish (within reason), and I know how much joy this would bring me. I have dreamed about this for a long time now!

Singing.

Yep, you read that right!

I started taking vocal lessons in October and have been building techniques and my style since then. I've even written some original pieces! I'm not sure when I'll start or on what platform (I was thinking Spotify or YouTube Music). This is DEFINITELY happening, though, and I'm excited to take you all behind the scenes on this new journey of mine!

Even in the chaos, I’m still here — dreaming, creating, and moving forward, one small step at a time.

This is all for now, my friends, thank you so much for listening to me ramble! I hope you are as excited for 2026 as I am!

God Bless,

Maya